Press release: Simon Power to answer PM’s questions

by Jake Quinn

Simon Power for Prime Minister, a well known Facebook group gathering momentum in recent weeks, has joined leading journalists in calling for Mr Power to come clean on why Mr Key really sacked Richard Worth.

“It is thought that perhaps Simon Power is better equipped to respond to our weekly questions following Monday’s Cabinet meeting” TVNZ Political Editor Guyon Espiner was overheard suggesting to a number of doe eyed executive assistants on the steps of Parliament House.

Frustration with the Prime Minister’s failure to respond to basic questions from journalists has left political commentators looking for alternatives in recent weeks.

“Following a series of questions on Worth deflected with weasel words, the Prime Minister dropped a bomb in his post cab presser suggesting that he had not fired Richard Worth over the police investigation into his behaviour (as stated in Parliament the week previous), but rather because of another matter entirely,” Jake, Chairman of Simon Power for Prime Minister, added.

This strange situation is rumoured to have left journalists baffled and asking just who Mr Key was trying to protect, himself or Dr Worth?

“We are sick to death of slippery John’s daily changing of his position. I’ve never seen anything like it in my 82 years covering Parliament” added Press Gallery Chair and NewstalkZB’s political editor Barry Soper, who laughed heartily before gazing fondly at the young foreign sounding TVNZ journalist pirouetting on his knee.

The Prime Minister, clearly understrain from his parties heavy loss in the weekend’s by-election, wasn’t keen to be cornered into answering any questions he wasnt well prepared for.

On his way up the Beehive lifts, TV3’s political editor Duncan “goose killer” Garner boisterously asked the PM “Floor number 10 is it Johnny Boy?”

TV3 reports that the Prime Minister, lost for words, simply embraced Duncan in a bear hug until the lift bell went ding.

Questions remain over the precise timing of the bear hug, with the PM’s watch reading 3:45pm and Mr Garner’s running five or so minutes faster.